Why do people say profanity? Why does using foul language make us feel better? Virtually all people swear, and people curse pretty consistently throughout their lifetime — from the moment they can speak to the day they die. Swearing is almost a universal constant in most people’s lives. It is one of the ways we express ourselves and communicate.
Swearing is a natural part of human speech development. We learn which words are taboo and which words are not through our normal childhood development. But what words do children learn , of course, curse words! So what’s wrong with swearing?
Well, it depends on why, when and where you are swearing. You probably swear because it is easy, fun, candid, emphatic, expressive, breaks rules, and somehow partially reduces anger and pain. But the negatives outweigh the positives. You don’t prove that you are smart or articulate. You don’t earn respect or admiration. You don’t motivate, you intimidate. It doesn’t help set a positive example, reflect your strong character, get you romantically connected, or help you get hired or promoted. Even if your friends and associates commonly use cuss words, you control your language and the emotions that typically prompt expletives.
And swearing doesn’t win any arguments. These insulting swears, some in the heat of battle, can be name calling or wishing someone harm, so it’s no wonder they are often a defining feature of verbal abuse and sexual harassment.
But swear words can be used in a more positive manner, in the form of dirty jokes and humor, sex talk, storytelling, self-deprecation or even social commentary. Imagine when you want to emphasize how great you feel something is, a swear words emphasizes the positive feelings you have for that object, situation, person or event (“This concert is f*** awesome!”). Sure, we could just say “This concert is awesome,” but the addition of the swear word emphasizes the emotional reaction we have toward it — and easily conveys that emotional reaction to others.
So, who am I to tell you to watch your language! Some people might say, “I’m not going to bother because, quite frankly, I don’t give a damm”. Lots of people don’t, and that’s the problem. We want to do and say whatever we please. Listen, I’m not asking you to stop swearing completely, just reduce the use, and that’s better than not even trying.
For example, when you are stuck in line or in traffic, ask yourself if a few more minutes matters. Be honest –does it really matter?
But most of all, children use parents as role models. Stop cursing for your children even if you don’t want to for yourself. Kids emulate their parents. If your child hears it from you, they will repeat it. To form a good relationship with your children and have them admire and respect you, your profanity should cease.
So, today I am grateful that I can control my use of profanity. I realize there is a time and place for them. I use them but don’t abuse them. Before you start griping or whining about something, remind yourself of a very important reality: no one wants to hear it! Why would they? Avoid complaining about matters that you and the people with you have no control over. For all other complaints, try to offer a rational solution. Others will admire your common sense, wisdom and calm approach to the problem. Consider it your success to limit using curse words when you have mastered the feat. You will find more people will enjoy being around you more often than before.
But let’s get real, I understand we live in an imperfect world, yet our expectations continually increase. Each day can be filled with aggravations, delays, disappointments and frustrations. The fact is, we have to deal with them anyway. So, what do you do when you have days like this, when nothing goes right, you lose your control as frustration mounts. All I can say is, shit happens!
